What Would an Average Customer Think?

From AdAge:

My reaction to the first line: "Sweet, they're rolling back the price hike." Then: "Wait, they're not rolling it back." Then: "Wait, what? Two companies? I'm so confused."

That was almost exactly my initial reaction to Netlix's announcement, too.

How to Treat Customers

From Seth Godin:

Here's what most businesses do with their best customers: They take the money.

The biggest fan of that Broadway show, the one who comes a lot and sits up front? She's paying three times what the person just three rows back paid.

That loyal Verizon customer, the one who hasn't traded in his phone and has a contract for six years running? He's generating far more profit than the guy who switches every time a contract expires and a better offer comes along.

Or consider the loyal customer of a local business. The business chooses to offer new customers a coupon for half off—but makes him pay full price...

If you define "best customer" as the customer who pays you the most, then I guess it's not surprising that the reflex instinct is to charge them more. After all, they're happy to pay.

But what if you define "best customer" as the person who brings you new customers through frequent referrals, and who sticks with you through thick and thin? That customer, I think, is worth far more than what she might pay you in any one transaction. In fact, if you think of that customer as your best marketer instead, it might change everything.

Are you listening, AT&T?

Reward Loyalty

From O2 (The mobile carrier that sells the iPhone in England):

iPhone stock will be extremely limited in the UK at launch and not everybody who wants one will be able to get one straight away. We want to make sure that our existing customers get priority so until at least the end of July, only existing O2 customers will be able to get an iPhone 4 from us.

There's a company that gets it. Reward the people who have gotten you there and focus on new customers second. That's quite a contrast to AT&T who, as I've said before, seems to have the motto "we've already got their money and they're locked into contracts. Let's bend them over at every opportunity so we can and focus only on new customers."

Treat your existing customers right and you'll have customers for life.

Kudos to you, O2.

I'm Done with Effing Greedy, Lazy Tegeler Toyota

I want to share this cautionary tale to you. A few weeks ago, the check engine light in my truck came on. It was nearing 100,000 miles, so it was about time for something to go wrong in it, right?

So I took it to Auto Zone, where the guy hooked it up to their machine (for free) and gave me the problem codes that it spit out, which could mean one of three things:

1. a bad catalytic converter
2. a clogged fuel filter
3. a loose gas cap

Being that the truck is 5-years old and about to be out of warranty, I naturally assumed that it was the worst thing. So I took it to the local Toyota dealership here in Brenham, Tegeler Toyota. I dropped it off at lunch and asked the guy to give me a call once they had a chance to look at it and let me know what they found. No call. So when I got off work, Kristi took me up to the dealer and I went in to ask the guy what was wrong with the truck.

The guy came back and said that the catalytic converter needed to be replaced, which would be $1000. I bristled. I told the guy that I couldn't leave it (Kristi was headed to Houston the next day and I needed to pick up the kids), but I could bring it back later. Okay, he said, but it would cost me $60 for them to look at the truck.

What?!? I though. You're going to charge me $60 for hooking up the truck to the computer - something Auto Zone did for free???? But I payed the dirty rotten bastard behind the counter.

My truck was near empty, so I went and filled it up. The next morning, I noticed something strange. No check engine light. And its been two weeks since with no check engine light. It seems that it was a loose gas cap, after all. And that money grubbing, lazy son of a bitch at Tegeler Toyota in Brenham was going to happily charge me $1000 to replace my catalytic converter. I don't know if they're just slow and bored during the recession or if they need practice working on trucks while they're not busy fixing recall issues lately, but I don't appreciate this kind of bullshit.

So I'm done with Tegeler Toyota in Brenham. You don't try to screw over your customers, especially ones with blogs.

The Crappiest McDonalds in the World

On Thursday on our way to Kristi's family reunion we stopped at the McDonald's in Madisonville, Tx to eat dinner. Kayci had gotten to pick.

When we got there, we noticed a huge TV, which was showing a news channel and proclaiming "Michael Jackson Rushed to Hospital."

We ordered our food - pretty straightforward stuff. The girl on the register was frowning and moping (not mopping) around, almost as if she was trying to be like a caricature of the stereotypical fast food worker. It took her almost five minutes to figure out how to ring up a package of apple dippers.

Once we got our food, I went over to get some ketchup from the ketchup pumpy-thing and was disgusted by the nasty gooey mess oozing out of the spout. There were flies and gnats flying around it and resting on the pump as if it were a shiny metal fly perch. So I went up to the counter and asked for some ketchup packets. A heavy-set girl behind the counter told me she couldn't give me any because I was eating here.

"What????" I said incredulously.

"My manager won't let me give out ketchup packets except to people ordering to-go."

"Well, let me talk to the manager, then," I said.

"I'm the manager on duty," she said. "The store manager told me I had to cut down on my orders." I'm sure I rolled my eyes at this point.

Then I got in her face. "You're the manager on duty. You have the authority to make this decision. I'm not using that ketchup. There are flies all over it!!! It's nasty!!!" I suddenly felt like Gordon Ramsey.

By this time Michael Jackson was in a coma.

"Okay, I'll do it this once" she fat robot sheep manager said. I think I said something like "damn right you will" as I grabbed some ketchup out of her hand and walked over to the table where my family was sitting.

I sat down and ate my quarter pounder with cheese and fries with ketchup. I couldn't help, based on my experience so far, but check my burger for maggots. There weren't any, thank God.

By this time Michael Jackson was dead.

So we finished our dinner and got the hell out as fast as we could. It's been a long time since I've had a restaurant experience that bad. I can somewhat understand the staffing issues. After all, minimum wage doesn't buy much these days, obviously. But the conditions were just plain disgusting.

So I'm boycotting the McDonalds in Madisonville, and I hope you all will, too. I'm not eating there anymore. Every time I do, Michael Jackson dies.

AT&T hates its customers

Today from CrunchGear:

"Want an iPhone 3G S? Already have an iPhone 3G? Be prepared to pay $700 to upgrade"

Apple said today that the iPhone 3G S costs $199 (16GB) and $299 (32GB). But that’s the price only for new AT&T customers. The price if you’re already an AT&T customer and/or are upgrading from an iPhone 3G? Try $699 (32GB), $599 (16GB), and $499 (8GB).

From AT&T:

An iPhone 3G customer in most cases can early upgrade at $399 [16GB] or $499 [32GB].

I've said ever since the 3G debuted last year that AT&T has probably the shittiest treatment for its existing customers of any company I've ever seen, with the possible exception of Sprint. Their philosophy seems to be, "we've already got their money and they're locked into contracts. Let's bend them over at every opportunity we can and focus only on new customers."

My thinking is that if AT&T would just take care of their customers and treat them well, they wouldn't be tempted to switch phone carriers every couple of years. Then even if Verizon or Sprint do get the iPhone in a year or so, they won't have to worry as much because they will have built up some loyalty. Treat your existing customers right and you'll have customers for life.