Choice of Typeface is Everything

Open Letter to Our Nation's Leaders

I didn't write this, but I may as well have. It says exactly my thoughts on the issues it covers. It was written by a listener to the Glenn Beck program.

"I'm a home grown American citizen, 53, registered Democrat all my life. Before the last presidential election I registered as a Republican because I no longer felt the Democratic Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. Now I no longer feel the Republican Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. The fact is I no longer feel any political party or representative in Washington represents my views or works to pursue the issues important to me. There must be someone. Please tell me who you are. Please stand up and tell me that you are there and that you're willing to fight for our Constitution as it was written. Please stand up now. You might ask yourself what my views and issues are that I would horribly feel so disenfranchised by both major political parties. What kind of nut job am I? Will you please tell me?
Well, these are briefly my views and issues for which I seek representation:

One, illegal immigration. I want you to stop coddling illegal immigrants and secure our borders. Close the underground tunnels. Stop the violence and the trafficking in drugs and people. No amnesty, not again. Been there, done that, no resolution. P.S., I'm not a racist. This isn't to be confused with legal immigration.

Glenn Beck's Common Sense
Now available in book stores nationwide...

Two, the TARP bill, I want it repealed and I want no further funding supplied to it. We told you no, but you did it anyway. I want the remaining unfunded 95% repealed. Freeze, repeal.

Three: Czars, I want the circumvention of our checks and balances stopped immediately. Fire the czars. No more czars. Government officials answer to the process, not to the president. Stop trampling on our Constitution and honor it.

Four, cap and trade. The debate on global warming is not over. There is more to say.

Five, universal healthcare. I will not be rushed into another expensive decision. Don't you dare try to pass this in the middle of the night and then go on break. Slow down!

Six, growing government control. I want states rights and sovereignty fully restored. I want less government in my life, not more. Shrink it down. Mind your own business. You have enough to take care of with your real obligations. Why don't you start there.

Seven, ACORN. I do not want ACORN and its affiliates in charge of our 2010 census. I want them investigated. I also do not want mandatory escrow fees contributed to them every time on every real estate deal that closes. Stop the funding to ACORN and its affiliates pending impartial audits and investigations. I do not trust them with taking the census over with our taxpayer money. I don't trust them with our taxpayer money. Face up to the allegations against them and get it resolved before taxpayers get any more involved with them. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, hello. Stop protecting your political buddies. You work for us, the people. Investigate.

Eight, redistribution of wealth. No, no, no. I work for my money. It is mine. I have always worked for people with more money than I have because they gave me jobs. That is the only redistribution of wealth that I will support. I never got a job from a poor person. Why do you want me to hate my employers? Why ‑‑ what do you have against shareholders making a profit?

Nine, charitable contributions. Although I never got a job from a poor person, I have helped many in need. Charity belongs in our local communities, where we know our needs best and can use our local talent and our local resources. Butt out, please. We want to do it ourselves.

Ten, corporate bailouts. Knock it off. Sink or swim like the rest of us. If there are hard times ahead, we'll be better off just getting into it and letting the strong survive. Quick and painful. Have you ever ripped off a Band‑Aid? We will pull together. Great things happen in America under great hardship. Give us the chance to innovate. We cannot disappoint you more than you have disappointed us.

Eleven, transparency and accountability. How about it? No, really, how about it? Let's have it. Let's say we give the buzzwords a rest and have some straight honest talk. Please try ‑‑ please stop manipulating and trying to appease me with clever wording. I am not the idiot you obviously take me for. Stop sneaking around and meeting in back rooms making deals with your friends. It will only be a prelude to your criminal investigation. Stop hiding things from me.

Twelve, unprecedented quick spending. Stop it now.

Take a breath. Listen to the people. Let's just slow down and get some input from some nonpoliticians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.

I entrusted you with upholding the Constitution. I believed in the checks and balances to keep from getting far off course. What happened? You are very far off course. Do you really think I find humor in the hiring of a speed reader to unintelligently ramble all through a bill that you signed into law without knowing what it contained? I do not. It is a mockery of the responsibility I have entrusted to you. It is a slap in the face. I am not laughing at your arrogance. Why is it that I feel as if you would not trust me to make a single decision about my own life and how I would live it but you should expect that I should trust you with the debt that you have laid on all of us and our children. We did not want the TARP bill. We said no. We would repeal it if we could. I am sure that we still cannot. There is such urgency and recklessness in all of the recent spending.

From my perspective, it seems that all of you have gone insane. I also know that I am far from alone in these feelings. Do you honestly feel that your current pursuits have merit to patriotic Americans? We want it to stop. We want to put the brakes on everything that is being rushed by us and forced upon us. We want our voice back. You have forced us to put our lives on hold to straighten out the mess that you are making. We will have to give up our vacations, our time spent with our children, any relaxation time we may have had and money we cannot afford to spend on you to bring our concerns to Washington. Our president often knows all the right buzzword is unsustainable. Well, no kidding. How many tens of thousands of dollars did the focus group cost to come up with that word? We don't want your overpriced words. Stop treating us like we're morons.

We want all of you to stop focusing on your reelection and do the job we want done, not the job you want done or the job your party wants done. You work for us and at this rate I guarantee you not for long because we are coming. We will be heard and we will be represented. You think we're so busy with our lives that we will never come for you? We are the formerly silent majority, all of us who quietly work , pay taxes, obey the law, vote, save money, keep our noses to the grindstone and we are now looking up at you. You have awakened us, the patriotic spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping too long. You have pushed us too far. Our numbers are great. They may surprise you. For every one of us who will be there, there will be hundreds more that could not come. Unlike you, we have their trust. We will represent them honestly, rest assured. They will be at the polls on voting day to usher you out of office. We have cancelled vacations. We will use our last few dollars saved. We will find the representation among us and a grassroots campaign will flourish. We didn't ask for this fight. But the gloves are coming off. We do not come in violence, but we are angry. You will represent us or you will be replaced with someone who will. There are candidates among us when hewill rise like a Phoenix from the ashes that you have made of our constitution.

Democrat, Republican, independent, libertarian. Understand this. We don't care. Political parties are meaningless to us. Patriotic Americans are willing to do right by us and our Constitution and that is all that matters to us now. We are going to fire all of you who abuse power and seek more. It is not your power. It is ours and we want it back. We entrusted you with it and you abused it. You are dishonorable. You are dishonest. As Americans we are ashamed of you. You have brought shame to us. If you are not representing the wants and needs of your constituency loudly and consistently, in spite of the objections of your party, you will be fired. Did you hear? We no longer care about your political parties. You need to be loyal to us, not to them. Because we will get you fired and they will not save you. If you do or can represent me, my issues, my views, please stand up. Make your identity known. You need to make some noise about it. Speak up. I need to know who you are. If you do not speak up, you will be herded out with the rest of the sheep and we will replace the whole damn congress if need be one by one. We are coming. Are we coming for you? Who do you represent? What do you represent? Listen. Because we are coming. We the people are coming."

The original letter and a petition may be found here.

I know what I'm doing on August 14...

Best. Error. Message. EVER!

This cartoon is actually an error message that users of Internet Explorer 6 get when they try to access Momentile.

I clicked on it via Daring Fireball and thought it was funny, but laughed even harder once I realized that it was an error message.

Classic.

News Flash: Rudy's Named the Most Destructolicious Restaurant on Earth!

Well, it's official. Rudy's is the best place on Earth. It may even be the happiest place on Earth, supplanting DisneyWorld for the title.

Rudy's has ... wait for it...

Mexican Coke!!!



And in a stunning turn of events, they ALSO have Dublin Dr. Pepper.



And smoked turkey. Rudy's is my new Cracker Barrel. I MUST eat there if there's one around.

My Bitty

I've always been very protective of my Bitty. Just ask the two nurses who I almost attacked when she was a baby. I thought they were hurting her, and I blanked out and set out on my way across the room to bust some head. Luckily Kristi snapped me out of it before I could lay a hand on either of them.

So a phone call and subsequent blog post on Kristi's blog explaining a conversation they had this morning has really disturbed me.

I know she can't stay little and innocent forever. And I'm glad we live where we so she doesn't have to be exposed to a lot of the stuff she would be in Houston or somewhere else. But she turns six this week, and it's just going a little too quickly for my taste.

Kristi, Kayci and I were sitting in the car having a little picnic after we picked up Kayci from VBS today and suddenly got very, very sad. There's nothing I want more than to share this time of her life with her, especially during the summer. I would love to take the summer off and to just play as a family with Kristi and the kids - to go to the pool every day, to go fishing, to go to the beach, to walk to the snow cone stand, to take naps, to read, to play in the sprinkler or the hose, to ride bikes, to just be silly. I know that my parents, or at least my dad, didn't have that option and that most parents don't. But that doesn't make me want it any less.

Be a rock star

The days that I love the most at work are the ones where I feel like a rock star. I may not have even done anything all that amazing ... to me. But I'm continually delighted that there are people who are amazed at the smallest things that I do and take for granted.

Like slapping a logo on the side of a vehicle in Photoshop and giving it some lovin' to make it look like it's actually on there. That's called a mock-up. And people around where I work go nuts for them.


There are other days when I've actually done something cool, and that makes me feel like a rock star, too. Like setting up and shooting a beauty shot of all of the company vehicles in front of the building:


Or when I get to integrate some cool photos I've taken with some design and printed on some really nice paper to form an annual report. Or a brochure that tells a story.

Or sometimes, it's just coming up with an idea so simple that it had been overlooked. For decades.

But more often than not, it's the days that I make myself happy because I did something that makes me laugh a little or that I think is cool. Or days when I learn something.

Like any magician (and that's really what I am - a digital magician), I love to amaze people. But the most gratifying times are when I amaze myself. It's cool when other people think you're a rock star. But actually thinking and feeling that about yourself sometimes is what makes the rest of the job fun.

Dude Etiquette, A Primer, Part 1: How to Approach and Recognize A Fellow Dude

There are several things that one must do when he is a Dude. Part one of a series:

How to Approach and Recognize A Fellow Dude

When approaching a fellow Dude in the hallway, there are certain protocols which must be maintained in most instances:
1. Hugs are not appropriate unless:
- the fellow Dude has been away for quite some time as a prisoner of war
- the fellow Dude is a relative, preferable your dad or granddad
- the fellow Dude has just been kicked in the nuts
- the fellow Dude has beer
- it will impress The Ladies
- both Dudes are a part of some kind of dinner theater show for other Dudes (note: BOTH Dudes must know that they in a dinner theater show)
- as a part of a bet or dare
- you just ended a fist-fight
- the fellow dude is choking on a rib or some other kind of grilled meat
- it the first act of throwing the fellow Dude to the ground because he is either being shot at or is on fire

2. When approaching the fellow Dude, eye contact is not necessary. A simple nod will do.

3. Shaking of hands is appropriate, especially if:
- money from a wager is being discreetly exchanged
- portable electronic devices are being exchanged
- beer is being exchanged
- the intent is to become blood brothers in an Apache Indian ceremony involving land and/or wampum
- to congratulate the fellow Dude on a monster fish
- a bet or dare is involved, especially involving the hanging things off the back of moving vehicles

4. The correct procedure for recognizing a fellow Dude is to acknowledge their Dude-ness in some verbal way, such as "'sup, Dude?" The following are never acceptable:
- "hidey-ho, good buddy!"
- "guess what I saw at the opera last night..."
- "your zipper is down. Let me get it for you..."
- "when I peeked over the urinal wall this morning..."
- "I heard you were the father..."
- "those shoes are fan-TAS-ic!"

5. Dudes never approach fellow Dudes when they are bent over in any way.

6. Complimenting a Dude on his beard, scruff or other facial hair is always acceptable, with the following exceptions:
- no stroking of the fellow Dude's beard
- the complimenting of a fellow Dude of his handleebar moustache is unacceptable
- it is bad form to point out huge holes in the fellow Dude's scruff (always assume that it was burned away in a grill accident)
- you have previously complimented the fellow Dude on his facial hair in the same week
- the will be absolutely no compliments allowed of unibrows

When followed correctly, these guidelines for say hello to a fellow Dude can be both fun and rewarding experience.

Flavors of Booty Cream

This begs the question... "Does it come in chunky?"

At What Are You Awesome?

I'm not a manager. Far from it. In fact, I don't really have any authority over, well, anyone at work except maybe vendors. I suspect that our summer part-time help is probably higher up the org chart than I am. But I digress...

But I was thinking today about my performance evaluation, which was two weeks ago. On the written self-evaluation, one of the questions asks you to list your weaknesses and what measurable goals you can make to show that you are growing. Or something like that.

It strikes me as completely ridiculous to focus only on one's weaknesses and shortfalls, which is primarily what performance evaluations tend to be. And job interviews, sometimes. When I was interviewing at Germania (and a couple of other places, as well), one of the questions I was asked was "what would you say is your greatest weakness." What a bullshit question. How in the world does that really tell you anything about the candidate, other than to see how well they can lie to your face? There's no way I'm going to go into a job interview and tell them that I hate working on sunny days or pretty much any day in October. I'm not going to tell them that I have a bad habit of getting sidetracked (much like this post has) when I'm working on something because I found something more interesting to do. No way I'm going to mention my habit of procrastination. And I'm sure not telling them about that wet underwear contest in Juarez.

And that got me thinking about what I would do if I were a manager and had the ability to hire and fire. How would I do things differently?

For starters, the very first question I would ask in an interview is "at what are you awesome?" Who cares what you suck at? I'll find out soon enough if you suck at something. I want to know what you love to do. I want to know what drives you. I want to know what you consider your absolute best skills to be. Now that's valuable information. That will tell me if you fit on our team and where. It will tell me how passionate you are about what you do. And it's a great way to start a real dialogue about the job you're applying for, instead of just reading talking points off of some worksheet.

My answer is: "I'm awesome at looking at things at a slightly different perspective than anyone else. I'm also good at seeing something in my head and making it real - whether that means on paper or on a computer screen. I'm good at Photoshop. And I have awesome opinions."

And I'm proud of my opinions, which is something most people seem to have a difficult time saying. Most people run from their opinions. I embrace mine. In the creative field, your opinions are the only thing you have. They are the basis of creative decision. If you hate a color - embrace it. If you love a typeface - embrace that, too. Not everyone will agree with you, but that's also good. If everyone agreed the world would be a pretty boring place.

So embrace your awesomeness. Own it. Love it. Know what your weaknesses are, but don't dwell on them. Learn to overcome them, if you can, but take your strengths and make them strengthier. It's not arrogance. It's good marketing.

The Origin of Band Names

A great list of bands and how they got their names.

WARNING: Once you start, be prepared to spend a couple of hours on the site. It's addictive.

James Defends Barack Obama Against Isreal

From CBS News:

Israeli TV newscasters Tuesday night interpreted a photo taken Monday in the Oval Office of President Obama talking on the phone with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as an "insult" to Israel.

They saw the incident as somewhat akin to an incident last year, when the Iraqi reporter threw a shoe at President Bush in Baghdad.

It is considered an insult in the Arab world to show the sole of your shoe to someone. It is not a Jewish custom necessarily, but Israel feels enough a part of the Middle East after 60 years to be insulted too.

I think you're being just a little too sensitive, Israel. Seriously. It's not as if President Obama probably even knew that the photo would get out and be used to show him on the phone with your president. You should probably take comfort that he seems to be so at ease talking to, you know, actual world leaders.

But what really irks me about the photo is President Obama's complete lack of respect for the 100+ year-old antique irreplaceable desk he's so casually kicked back on.

Seriously, Barack. Show a little respect at least as you tear down our country.