How Many Biebers Could YOU Take in a Fight?

Created by Oatmeal

I Vomited Today

From Time:

At a glance, it's hard to imagine a President who had less in common with Reagan than the Ivy League lawyer from Hawaii who seeks larger federal investments, a bigger social safety net and new regulations for Wall Street and Big Oil. But under the surface, there is no mistaking Obama's increasing reliance on his predecessor's career as a helpful template for his own. Since the November elections, Obama has brought corporate executives into the White House, reached out to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and made compromise his new watchword. He signed a surprise $858 billion tax cut that would have made Reagan weep with joy and huddled with Reagan's former White House chief of staff Ken Duberstein for lessons learned when the Gipper governed amid economic troubles. Over the Christmas break, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs tweeted that Obama was reading a Reagan biography, and just to confirm the bond, Obama recently wrote an homage to Reagan for USA Today. "Reagan recognized the American people's hunger for accountability and change," Obama wrote, conferring on Reagan two of his most cherished political slogans.

First of all, no one is fooled by Obama trying to equate himself with Reagan. Just as always, it's a diversionary tactic: say one thing and do the opposite. Obama reading a biography on reagan doesn't mean crap in the grand scheme. He's not looking for guidance or a glimpse at Reagan's philosophy. He thinks Reagan's mannerisms, communication skills and determination were gimmicks. He's simply trying to figure out how to do what Reagan did: communicate and inspire the country when the economy was in the tank. But Reagan was sincere. It wasn't a gimmick. And no amount of empty emulation will ever approach Reagan's zeal for liberty and conservatism. Reagan had principles. Obama has platitudes.

Second, Obama didn't sign a "surprise $858 billion tax cut." He signed a bill that continued the Bush tax cuts, which Congress had let expire. They weren't his idea, nor was he in favor of extending the tax cuts. He (and the Democrats in Congress) did it only because they had just gotten their collective asses handed to them in an election and had they not extended them, or (in other words) raised taxes they would've been crucified. Possibly literally. If Obama wants credit for tax cuts, he needs to man up and lower taxes himself rather than stand on the shoulders of the predecessor that he loves to demonize so often.

And finally, Reagan was, indeed, in favor of change: change in the opposite direction of the failed policies of Jimmy Carter. It's really, really ironic, then, that Carter is the president to whom Obama is most often compared. If Reagan were alive today, he would be diametrically opposed to Obama's version of "accountability" (which is to say no accountability) and "change" (by which he means to shift the country toward a more socialistic government-centric state.)

I'm actually shocked that Reagan's zombie corpse didn't rise from the ground with the sole intent of kicking Obama's ass over his recent remarks. I bet God is in heaven holding him back even now.

Why Can't We Walk Straight?

A Mystery: Why Can't We Walk Straight? from NPR on Vimeo.

Do You Really Need to Do It While You're Rolling?

Geez.

Pick Two

One of my favorite sayings for more than ten years has been: "You can have it fast, cheap or good. Pick two."

This graphic is masterfully done.

The Dome

Don't Wait Up

From the Telegraph:

The Earth could find itself with a 'second sun' for a period of weeks later this year when one of the night sky's most luminous stars explodes, scientists have claimed.

Betelgeuse, which is part of the Orion constellation 640 light years away from Earth, is a red supergiant, meaning that it is nearing the end of its life and is due to explode.

Wow. Now that would be cool. But I'd also be pretty bummed because that means that Orion would lose a star, and it's my favorite constellation.

But wait...

Brad Carter, senior lecturer of physics at the University of southern Queensland in Australia, said the explosion could take place before the end of the year – or indeed at any point over the next million years.

So this dipwad is basically "predicting" that a star out in space is going to explode at some point in the future. That's like me predicting that I'm going to eat an entire pizza at some point in the next 80 years and then getting a news story about it. (And everyone knows that the REAL story would be the trip to the restroom that followed... but I digress.)

I'm not sure which is worse here - the ridiculous science or the poor sensationalist journalism.

No Worries

A friend and I were having a conversation a few days ago after I showed her the "find my iPhone" app. I showed her how you can look up all your Apple mobile devices and find their location. Kristi was in Houston that day, so I showed her that it located Kristi at Cimarron Elementary. She said, "wow. that could be dangerous if someone looked you up and you weren't where you were supposed to be."

I guess that's true. But, as I told her, if you live your life with nothing to hide then there are no such problems. Not that she doesn't. I'm just sayin'.

Whathestank?

Around this time seven years ago, I was listening to Hoobastank a lot.

That's going to be hard to explain to my kids. It's pretty hard to admit right now, actually.

Would YOU Eat Human Cheese?

From grist.org:

Human cheese is initially a pretty shocking concept to most people. In that way its a great conversation starter -- people very quickly bring up all sorts of different issues. I've had questions come up like, is it OK for a vegan? Is it empowering or exploitative of the woman? Is it dangerous, or actually healthier?

Many people feel uncomfortable because they don't know the woman, or what she is eating -- but how often do you know the cows whose milk make your cheese, and what they are eating?

Here's another question: what the f#$@! is wrong with you??? People feel uncomfortable about it because (in the words of Chandler Bing): "It's juice squeezed from a person." I would no sooner eat human cheese that I would drink lemonade made from saliva. I would not could not on a train. I would not could not in the rain. I would not could not eat them with some lox. I could not would not, even if she were a fox. Ugh.

This is a prime example of "sure, you could do it, but should you?" I'm going with no.


Thanks to Tony for sending this and turning my stomach.

How a Texan Orders Pants

Put This On: LBJ Buys Pants from Put This On on Vimeo.

I love the belch at the 1:42 mark. LBJ was many things, but classy wasn't one of them.

How to Launch an Anvil 100 Feet in the Air