Showing posts with label stupid things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid things. Show all posts

Thursday, May 16, 2013

About Nine Months Too Late



From the LA Times:

President Obama on Thursday called on Congress to beef up security at U.S. diplomatic facilities, saying the country owes it to the four Americans who died at the Benghazi, Libya, mission last year to protect other personnel serving around the world.

Bwahahahahahhahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahha!

Oh, man.  That's rich. I've gotta...


Bwahahahahahahahahahhaa!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Ninja Awesomeness




Happy Tuesday, Nin Jas.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

It's Spelled "Expensive"

Matt and I have been having this discussion as to how to pronounce the word "Leica," as in the camera and optics manufacturer.  At one time, I thought it was pronounced "lisa," but have pronounced it "like-a" for the past couple of years after hearing a bigwhig photographer pronounce it that way in a podcast.

Matt, on the other hand, claims that he had an uncle or a cousin or somebody who actually worked for the company and pronounced it "lay-ka."  So who's right?  Some imaginary uncle/cousin or a big name photographer that I think I remember seeing on some podcast at some time or other?

Since Matt is a habitual liar and not to be believed on such matters, I decided to take matters into my own hands and find out by going to the most trusted source on the internet- Wikipedia.  No help there.  So then I searched some photography forums, where there were crazy pronunciations that I had never even imagined and that would be hard for even a German to pronounce correctly.

So then I got an idea.

I went to leica.com and found their main office support number and called it.  Genius!  And within two seconds, I had the answer.

It's pronounced "Like-a," just as I had claimed.  I called Matt to gloat and he distracted me by talking about other things before our conversation went down a rabbit hole of discussing Peter Gabriel and Genesis albums.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

But the Mayans Didn't Say That At All!

We're not all going to die.  Okay, actually, that's not true.  We are all going to die... eventually. Just probably not on December 21, 2012.  That's the date - a year from now - that some people are claiming that the Mayans predicted the end of the world.  That's what we've all heard, right?

Funny thing is.... the Mayans didn't say that at all.

From AP News:


Many archeologists argue that the 2012 reference on a 1,300-year-old stone tablet only marks the end of a cycle in the Mayan calendar. 
"The world will not end. It is an era," said Yeanet Zaldo, a tourism spokeswoman for the Caribbean state of Quintana Roo, home to Cancun.
The Mayan civilization, which reached its height from 300 A.D. to 900 A.D., had a talent for astronomy. 
Its Long Count calendar begins in 3,114 B.C., marking time in roughly 394-year periods known as Baktuns. Thirteen was a significant, sacred number for the Mayas, and they wrote that the 13th Baktun ends on Dec. 21, 2012. 
The doomsday theories stem from a stone tablet discovered in the 1960s at the archaeological site of Tortuguero in the Gulf of Mexico state of Tabasco that describes the return of a Mayan god at the end of a 13th period. 
"The Maya are viewed by many westerners as exotic folks that were supposed to have had some special, secret knowledge," said Mayan scholar Sven Gronemeyer. "What happens is that our expectations and fears get projected on the Maya calendar." 
Gronemeyer of La Trobe University in Australia compares the supposed Mayan prophecies to the "Y2K" hype, when people feared all computer systems would crash when the new millennium began on Jan. 1, 2000. 
For some reason, Gronemeyer says, people have ignored evidence that dates beyond 2012 were recorded.

2012 will, indeed, be a watershed year - just not for the reasons people are freaking about about at the moment.  But never let the truth get in the way of a good freak out, I suppose...

Monday, September 19, 2011

Qwik...what????

From AppleInsider:

Netflix CEO Reed Hastings sent a letter to subscribers on Monday, admitting he "messed up" and announcing that it would spin off its DVD and Blu-ray-based mailing business as a new service dubbed "Qwikster." 
The company's changes come in response to a subscriber backlash that was spurred by higher prices for rentals of physical DVDs. Hastings said the pricing for combined streaming, via Netflix, and mailed rentals, from Qwikster, will remain the same as it is currently.

Too little, too late.  And a stupid name, to boot. Way to go, Netflix.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Global Warming is a Threat (wait for it...) TO THE GALAXY!

From IBTimes:

Global warming may not remain merely "global" anymore, as a new study suggests its cosmic impact.

Beyond endangering the earthly inhabitants, humans may have posed a serious threat to the entire galaxy, possibly prompting aliens to destroy humanity in order to end global warming and save the rest of the galaxy from being contaminated as well.

By using spectrometry, extraterrestrials could detect changes in Earth's atmosphere and deduce that we're out of control, speculated the researchers, among a number of other scenarios discussed in the 33-page paper.

Some scenarios suggest that human contact with aliens would be beneficial, such as how aliens would help us acquire better knowledge and help us solve problems such as hunger, poverty and enable us to eliminate diseases. Another scenario points toward an alliance between humans and Aliens to help us protect ourselves from an attack by other extra-territorial beings.


Oooooooooooooookay... Wow.

Read the whole article. It's great for a laugh if you're in the mood for batshit crazy.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Texsun Post



There's a brand of juice that they serve in the break room here at work called Texsun. With a name like Texsun, you' think it would be based in Texas and feature Texas orange juice.

And you'd be wrong.

Texsun juice is actually from Florida. How do I know this? Because it says so right on the side. See? "Distributed by Citrus World, Inc."



But I doubt even the Florida connection (and in fact I actually suspect that we may be buying some fell-off-the-back-of-a-truck black market Chinese OJ because of the next sentence:
"A COOPERATIVE OR CROWERS BASED IN LAKE WALES, FLORIDA, 33853, USA"



So who's based in Lake Wales - a cooperative or a crower? And what the heck is a crower doing making orange juice? Shouldn't they be, you know, crowing instead?

How did no one catch not one, but TWO typos on the can?


[EDIT:] After I posted, I happened to turn the can over to see if it was expired. This is what I found:



Texsun, it turns out, is neither a product of Texas nor Florida. It's made in Mexico. So much for truth in packaging.

Canon's Connection of DOOM




So, wait. I can't disconnect the USB or the power source while the camera is connected to the computer? But my camera is using battery power, so it is the power source. And if I can't disconnect the USB cable while the camera is attached to the computer, how am I supposed to go and shoot more video?

Does that mean I can never disconnect it ever again?

And I can't turn off the camera, either? Geez. Thanks, Canon.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Rolling Dubiousness

I have a question:

How is it that everyone in Texas can all run their air conditioners at the same time (in addition to lights, computers, etc.) all summer long with no problems, but when some of us (remember- about half the state has gas heaters and stoves) try to run our heaters when it gets cold, we have to have rolling blackouts?

It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Would YOU Eat Human Cheese?


From grist.org:

Human cheese is initially a pretty shocking concept to most people. In that way its a great conversation starter -- people very quickly bring up all sorts of different issues. I've had questions come up like, is it OK for a vegan? Is it empowering or exploitative of the woman? Is it dangerous, or actually healthier?

Many people feel uncomfortable because they don't know the woman, or what she is eating -- but how often do you know the cows whose milk make your cheese, and what they are eating?


Here's another question: what the f#$@! is wrong with you??? People feel uncomfortable about it because (in the words of Chandler Bing): "It's juice squeezed from a person." I would no sooner eat human cheese that I would drink lemonade made from saliva. I would not could not on a train. I would not could not in the rain. I would not could not eat them with some lox. I could not would not, even if she were a fox. Ugh.

This is a prime example of "sure, you could do it, but should you?" I'm going with no.


Thanks to Tony for sending this and turning my stomach.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Anatomy of False Alarm

After reading a friend's post on Facebook that the Sam Houston State campus was on lockdown (and that there were shots fired and there were three gunmen), I checked the Huntsville Item newspaper's website:

3:00 - Item investigating reports of shots fired at SHSU; campus on lockdown; officers massed around Avenue I.

3:40 - All clear at SHSU. More info to come.

4:00 - Police say SHSU reports due to Nerf game on campus.


It's a sad, sad day when an entire campus goes on lockdown because of a game of Nerf ball. For one, Nerf guns look nothing like real guns. And did whoever reported that there was a gun on campus not see the bright orange missiles or balls sticking off the front? It's not as is if they were running around with pellet guns that might actually be mistaken for, you know... real guns. What's next? Will the town of Huntsville be put on high alert the next time some kids decide to run around with Super-Soakers?

What a sad commentary on the freak-out society we live in. Still, so glad that no one was seriously hurt by a stray Nerf ball.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Lazy, Spoiled, Stupid People vs. Apple

From AppleInsider:

Anyone who ever bought an iPhone on AT&T is now part of a class-action lawsuit taking aim at both the wireless carrier and Apple for their exclusive contract.

The lawsuit, filed in 2007, accuses both the iPhone maker and AT&T of illegally exerting a monopoly over iPhone customers. It alleges that iPhone users are forced to stay with AT&T after their two-year contract expires, because neither AT&T nor Apple will unlock the iPhone for use on another carrier, such as T-Mobile.


You have got to be kidding me with this, right? A company can't even choose who they want their business partners to be anymore? I seem to recall buying several phones over the years - especially from Sprint - that would only work on their network. Or how about phones purchased from Verizon? They have a completely different type of cell service altogether, which means that their phones only work on their network.

What a waste of time.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

May 5 - The Day It's Not Okay to Be an American

From the NY Daily News:


A handful of California students got an unexpected lesson at their high school this week: Don't wear your stars and stripes on Cinco de Mayo.

Five Morgan Hill, California students were asked to take off their American flag bandannas and turn their T-shirts inside out after students complained, according to NBC news in San Francisco.

Many members of Live Oak High School's large Mexican-American student population that felt it was offensive for the students to wear the American flag on a day that's supposed to celebrate Mexican heritage.

When the boys refused to take off their flag t-shirts and bandannas, they were ordered to go to the principal's office.

"They said we could wear it on any other day," Live Oak student Daniel Galli said, "but today is sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it's supposed to be their holiday so we were not allowed to wear it today."


Note to morons in California: Conco de Mayo is a holiday publicized by the Corona beer company in order to sell beer, not to "celebrate Mexican heritage." Check the wikipedia page, which says this: "The holiday, which has been celebrated in California continuously since 1863, is virtually ignored in Mexico."

And since when does one expressing pride in one's own country somehow cheapen the pride someone else feels for , I guess, their home country?

Thanks to Matt, who obviously wants my head to explode, for sending this along.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I Stand Corrected. Now THIS is Egotism...


From the Wall Street Journal:
Actress Lindsay Lohan has sued an arm of E*Trade Financial Corp., the operator of a popular online brokerage, alleging the company misappropriated her name and personality in a recent television advertisement.

The suit, filed in state court in Mineola, N.Y., on Monday, seeks $100 million in damages and demands that the company stop airing the ad.

The commercial features a baby boy chatting online through a Web cam with a baby girl, but in the voices and vernacular of a flirtatious, much-older couple. After the boy explains why he failed to call the girl the night before, the girl asks the boy, accusingly: "And that milkaholic, Lindsay, wasn't over?" That prompts a second baby girl, presumably "Lindsay," to jump in the frame on the boy's side. "Milk-a-what?" she asks into the camera, her voice loud and shrill.

From AdAge:
Ms. Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, did not immediately return a request for comment, but alleges the spot is clearly a reference to her client. She told the New York Post: "Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit. ... They used the name Lindsay." She went on to say: "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."


The spot was one of the Destructo Top Five® spots from the Super Bowl, and I still laugh every time I see it.

Message to Lindsay Lohan (you used-up no-talent has been): How you can stretch this to think that any use of the name "Lindsay" or "Lindsey" or "Linsey" or even "Linsy" on television is somehow a reference to you is beyond belief. It's egoism beyond compare. Everyone knows you're not a milkaholic. You're a drug-using, alcoholic train wreck happening in slow motion. And its sad that you have to resort to such foolishness in order to draw attention to yourself. If I were you, I'd save that money you're spending on this ill-fated lawsuit. You're going to need it later.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Not Responsible

I get e-mails from time to time with offers from Canon. I noticed this yesterday in one of the e-mails:



Finally! The answer to all my design problems!!! Thanks, Canon.

Seriously. I'd like to see someone actually try this on some of their work. Accidentally misspelled the company president's name in the statewide news magazine? Sorry. Not responsible. It says so right there.

Who is responsible for them? Dunno, but not us...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden Are Engaged!


Everyone is all breathlessly atwitter with the following news, via Us Magazine:

Nicole Richie and her Good Charlotte rocker boyfriend, Joel Madden, are getting married.

Richie, 28, made the announcement Monday on The Late Show with David Letterman.

"Yep. i'm engaged. Very happy," wrote Madden, 30, on Twitter Monday.

A source tells UsMagazine.com, "Nicole and Joel are in the process of planning the wedding. She's very involved in every detail. She’s thrilled."

The couple is expected to tie the knot in the summer.


And in other news, who really gives a rat's ass? Because:

Richie and Madden started dating in December 2006 and have two children together: Harlow, 2, and Sparrow, 5 months.


Ass backwards. That's fine that they've finally decided to get married, but do we have to pretend like she's some virginal bride, awaiting her Big Day and her Dream Wedding because it's What She's Always Wanted and Dreamed About Since She Was a Little Girl? (pause for music swell). This is like getting excited and throwing all kinds of showers for a third marriage. Or in the very apt words of Larry the Cable Guy, "it's like wiping before you poop. It just don't make no sense."

And what was she doing onLetterman? What the hell has she ever done besides be Lionel Ritchie's no-talent daughter and hang around with a skanky heiress?

Hollywood really pisses me off sometimes. And so do the stupid girl magazines who love to get all excited about absolutely frigging nothing.

Get a life, people. Really.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Canada's Solution: Killing Your Kids is the Answer


The Canadians seem to have all the answers, don't they?

This, from the Financial Post:

A planetary law, such as China's one-child policy, is the only way to reverse the disastrous global birthrate currently, which is one million births every four days.


Yeah, that one-child law has really worked for China, hasn't it? It leads the world in population with 1.3 billion people. The U.S. is third on the list with only 308 million. Once again, some socialist is telling us we need to emulate a failed (and immoral) system in order to save the world. Canada could help out the world population in a couple of generations to the tune of 34 million people if they simply quit reproducing. No kids killed in that instance- just none born.

This is exactly why we neither listen to socialists or Canada, kids.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Damn, I'm Sick of Orpah Already

This headline from the New York Times:

"Looking for a Leader in the Post-Oprah Landscape"

SHE HAS TWO MORE FRIGGIN' YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!

And apparently, the media is determined that its going to be a loooooooooooooooong two years.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Oprah Goes the Way of Cher

From People:

Oprah Winfrey has made it official: In a tearful announcement at the end of her show in Chicago on Friday, she confirmed that The Oprah Winfrey Show will end in September 2011.


Why is everyone making such a big, tearful drama-filled deal about this?

1. She's still going to be around for almost two whole years!
2. She's not leaving TV, and she's admitted as much. She's launching her own narcissistic cable channel, The Oprah Winfrey Network.

It's pretty ironic that the initials of her new network are OWN, because that's what she does to the stupid saps that are bleary-eyed about this today.

Who else wishes that she would just go away altogether?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Obama: Too much debt could fuel double-dip recession

From Reuters:

BEIJING, Nov 18 (Reuters) - President Barack Obama gave his sternest warning yet about the need to contain rising U.S. deficits, saying on Wednesday that if government debt were to pile up too much, it could lead to a double-dip recession.

"It is important though to recognize if we keep on adding to the debt, even in the midst of this recovery, that at some point, people could lose confidence in the U.S. economy in a way that could actually lead to a double-dip recession," he said.


No shit, asshole. The quit spending f*#@ing TRILLIONS of our dollars!!!!

This is completely typical of Barack Obama: say what the people want to hear while you're doing the exact opposite.