How to attract a man

Ladies, come over here and sit with me for a moment. I have some wisdom to impart. Please don't sit on my lap, ma'am - it's not that kind of blog.

Today I want to tell you how to attract a man. Yes, any man.* Being a man, I happen to know a little bit about the subject. It's really quite simple, and it all has to do with smell.

First, throw all that flowery perfume crap away. No man worth attracting is going to go for you because you smell like roses. Only florists and gay men find that kind of thing attractive. No, the key is to wear a scent that men enjoy, and it comes down to three basic scents that can't go wrong. Simply pick one and wear it and you'll have men falling all over themselves for you.

The three scents that will attract any man* are:
1. grilled meat
2. grass clippings
3. campfire

It's just that simple. Smell like any one of those three things and you're golden. Just don't get creative and mix and match. No one likes grilled grass clippings.

You're welcome.



* Tom Cruise, broadway dancers and Barney Frank excluded, if you get my drift. ;)

Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee

Merry Christmas.

The Hangover

On Monday I went to a sneak peek showing of what I think is going to be one of the classic guy movies of all time. When my buddy Steve asked me to go I was really excited. In April we had gone to see another great guy-movie: I Love You, Man. I had seen the trailer for The Hangover and thought it looked funny, but I had no idea. It's abouta group of guys who head to Vegas for a bachelor party and wake up the next morning with absolutely no recollection of the wild night they had. And the groom is missing. And there's a tiger in the bathroom. And a baby in the closet. That's all I'm sayin'.

But it IS a guy movie. Ladies probably won't think it's as funny because every part of it is about how guys think and how guys talk. It's dead on. And it's completely random. You never know what's coming next. Seriously. No, really. I mean it.

But a word of warning - it's also completely raunchy. Not quite Superbad raunchy, but close. Steve and I sat next to an older gentleman in the theater. There were times during the movie when I think he felt really uncomfortable. At least he looked that way.

But it's definitely worth seeing in the theater. I'm planning on going to see it again and dragging a couple of my buddies along. It's a film that's meant to be seen with friends.