How to attract a man

Ladies, come over here and sit with me for a moment. I have some wisdom to impart. Please don't sit on my lap, ma'am - it's not that kind of blog.

Today I want to tell you how to attract a man. Yes, any man.* Being a man, I happen to know a little bit about the subject. It's really quite simple, and it all has to do with smell.

First, throw all that flowery perfume crap away. No man worth attracting is going to go for you because you smell like roses. Only florists and gay men find that kind of thing attractive. No, the key is to wear a scent that men enjoy, and it comes down to three basic scents that can't go wrong. Simply pick one and wear it and you'll have men falling all over themselves for you.

The three scents that will attract any man* are:
1. grilled meat
2. grass clippings
3. campfire

It's just that simple. Smell like any one of those three things and you're golden. Just don't get creative and mix and match. No one likes grilled grass clippings.

You're welcome.



* Tom Cruise, broadway dancers and Barney Frank excluded, if you get my drift. ;)