Typo Roulette

How many typos can you count on this one sign alone?
Shameful.

Who Are You Going to Believe? Lady Gaga or Your Own Lying Eyes?

From Access Hollywood:

Lady Gaga might adhere horns to her arms and face, but she’s never permanently altered her body.

“I have never had plastic surgery, and there are many pop singers who have. I think that promoting insecurity in the form of plastic surgery is infinitely more harmful than an artistic expression related to body modification,” the singer told Harper’s Bazaar for its May issue.

“And how many models and actresses do you see on magazine covers who have brand-new faces and have had plastic surgery, while I myself have never had any plastic surgery? I am an artist, and I have the ability and the free will to choose the way the world will envision me,” she continued.

Uh huh. Sure. Just check out these two photos - one from 2005 before Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, aka "Lady Gaga" made it big and one from a magazine cover a couple of months ago:





As Mr. Plinkett might say, "what the hell happened to your faaaaaaace?"

Elephants Aren't Enough

We took the kids to the circus in Houston yesterday (and had a great time). But while we were there, I noticed something that I found odd. Check out this short video:



Notice that there are several elephants performing in the center of the frame. Awesome. Now notice the ladies dancing on the sides of the arena. Why? Why would Ringling Brothers want to distract from the elephants? Why clutter up an already busy arena (notice all the support guys walking around) with even more visual noise? People actually come to the circus just to see the elephants, after all.

Shouldn't the fact that there are performing elephants be enough, for crying out loud? Perhaps little stuff like this is why a trip to the circus is like paying for two hours of sensory overload.

Ah, Spring...

"Hunting"

I've been listening to a lot of guys here in town lately talk about deer hunting and what they do when they go. I've never been hunting, but I would love to go someday - but not the way a lot of these guys do it.

You see, what they do is putout a feeder that spits out food every day at a certain time. The deer come and eat the food and hang around the feeder. Then when hunting season opens, these guys go out and sit in a deer stand right next to the feeder and wait for the deer to come along to eat. Then BAM! they shoot the deer dead and pump up their chests like big mighty hunters. Then they bring the deer back and make chili and sausage with the meat that they "hunted."

Now again - I've never been deer hunting - but it just doesn't seem sporting to basically shoot a pet. I mean, if you're going to go hunting, then walk around with a gun looking for a deer to shoot. Sneak up on him and then shoot him. Now that's hunting. There's sport in that. But feeding deer into complacency just so you can blow them away when they come to eat at the trough? Come on. How do you live with yourself?

My eyes! My eyes!!!!!

I have new thing to add to my list of top ten things I never wanted to see.... Bill Gates shaking his rump.

In case you haven't heard, Microsoft's new pitchman is Jerry Seinfeld. I'll wait a minute while the irony of that sinks in... done yet? no? ... okay. good.

Ad agency Crispin Porter & Bogusky out of Miami was hired to create a $300 million ad campaign to try to rejuvenate Microsoft's image and to complete with Apple's "Get a Mac" campaign. Their first task was to find a spokeman who just reeks of "fresh" and "hip" and cutting edge." Naturally, they picked Jerry Seinfeld (for kids in the audience, Jerry Seinfeld is a standup comedian who had a hit TV show that ended in 1998.) And the collective advertising and internet community said, "huh?" while Apple fanboys everywhere wet themselves with laughter since Seinfeld's apartment frequently had Macintosh computers laying around.

So a few weeks pass and we finally get to see the train wreck we were all waiting for:

I think parts of this ad are really, really funny. Jerry Seinfeld cruising around the mall eating a churro, for instance. The irony of Bill Gates shopping at a bargain basement shoe store wasn't lost on me - I just didn't think it was funny. But the best part of the whole spot was Bill Gates' lack of acting ability. And the fact that he's still using his 1977 mop-haired jail mugshot photo on his ID. That is what makes this spot funny.

Too bad Bill just retired and isn't the "face" of Microsoft anymore.

Where was this spot ten years ago? It would have been timely when Seinfeld's show had just gone off the air, while he was still on the top of everyone's collective mind. Bill Gates was still the face of Microsoft back then, which was in dire need of some good PR while it was knee-deep in its Internet Explorer anti-trust case.

There's no doubt that Microsoft needs a shot of positive PR. Following the Vista debacle, it's seen as a bloated, unwieldy giant that is out of touch with the mainstream. Choosing two aging icons of the '90s was a mistake. Someone like Jon Stewart would have been better. That would have also served as a subtle link - a little jab at Apple - because John Hodgman (PC) is a correspondent for the Jon Stewart show. Using PC's boss to pitch Microsoft would have been classic. That, and Stewart is still relevant and funny. Seinfeld ... not so much.

BTW- it should be noted that Bill Gates KNOWS that he's this wooden, dorky figure. He plays it well, and he's done a good job making fun of it in the past. Just check out his hilarious retirement video. He's definitely a better choice than Microsoft's current CEO, the always scary and never loveable Steve Ballmer. But Seinfeld? Seriously?

Microsoft continues to make a joke of their brand. Even though I'm an Apple guy, I still find it sad.

In a world ... without Don LaFontaine

Don LaFontaine, the man behind the most ubiquitous voice ever, died over the weekend at age 68. While this isn't exactly HUGE news, it is interesting to me because I used to work for a guy named Bill Moffett who had a lot of the same mannerisms and a voice very similar to LaFontaine's. Sometimes, while sitting around with the staff in his office or while cutting a radio spot he would launch into a spontaneous parody of LaFontaine that was always very funny. There's just something funny about hearing one voicever guy mimicking another voiceover guy perfectly.

Also, I got to thinking in the past couple of days... LaFontaine's voice was almost literally EVERYWHERE. Movie trailers, TV show promos, radio ads and on and on will never sound the same again. Let's hope they don't get some imitator that sounds kinda like him to pick up where he left off. Now that their go-to guy is gone, this could be a real chance for the industry to break some new ground. I hope they do.