An Open Letter to Miley Cyrus

Dear Miley Cyrus,

I have read lately that you want to move on from Hannah Montana. There have been reports that you want to focus on your acting career and your singing career. You've said you think you're ready for "more mature roles."

Miley, I don't know if it's because you're only 16 and don't know any better or if its because you're getting bad advice, but I have three words for you: don't be stupid.

You may be bored with Hannah Montana, but consider this: you will never, ever, ever be as popular as you are right at this moment. You're selling out arenas, selling millions of CDs - both as Hannah Montana and as yourself. You've had two hit movies, both as Hannah Montana. Please don't be deluded into thinking that your current success is because of your musical or acting talent. You're really not that good at either. If it weren't for the Disney promotional machine, you'd still be a novelty act as Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter. I don't think anyone would be paying you much attention just on your merits. I'm not saying that you're not talented. You are. And I'm sure that you'll continue to blossom into quite a performer. But without the Hannah Montana name attached to yours, I don't think your CDs would sell nearly as well. You were very wise to slowly slip your music in to the Hannah Montana CDs. But it's your Hannah Montana buzz that sold Breakout.

You might also want to think about other kid stars who wanted to grow up a little too fast, thinking that their fans would follow them blindly beyond their kids roles that made them famous. Ask Lindsey Lohan. Ask Melissa Joan Hart. Ask Elizabeth Berkely. Ask Hilary Duff. Ask the Olsen Twins. Let's see where Vanessa Hudgens is in five years. And Ashley Tisdale, too. Sure, they generate some buzz for a little while, but pretty soon people realize they don't really like the actor or singer. They really liked the character they played and pretty soon their career is in the toilet.

If you want to know how fleeting fame can be, look no further than your dad. Fifteen years ago, your dad was on top of the world. Then came the fall. No one wanted anything to do with Billy Ray Cyrus for years. People would admit that they had a venereal disease before they would admit that they owned a Billy Ray CD. Seriously. It says nothing of his merits and talent as a songwriter. I happen to like your dad's music. But like pearl snap shirts, you were a loser if you had one. Sure, things come back around (15 years later), but it took his daughter's success to do it.

Miley, as the father of a five-year-old daughter, I want you to know that I mean it when I say that I wish you only success. But please don't be a moron. Millions of little girls idolize you - er, Hannah. On behalf of millions of parents, please, please, please don't become the next Britney Spears or the Next Christina Aguilera. We're waiting on pins and needles, formulating the speech in our heads about how we're going to explain how Hannah Montana could be having a child out of wedlock or has a giant scorpion tattoo across the chest or why she was arrested for heroin addiction or why she's naked in a magazine or ... insert a scenario here. We don't want to have to have that talk. And quit taking pictures in your bra, for God's sake.

You've only been Hannah Montana for three years. Let that sink in. Three years. What I'm trying to say is to enjoy it while it lasts. Sure, all good things must come to an end. But it's not that time yet. You get your little arse back out there, put on that wig and you sing your heart out. Don't act like a spoiled brat and don't act like you're entitled to anything. And don't be surprised when your fans turn on you when you act stupid. That's not only show business - that's business. Please grow into a talented performer, nay, country singer. They seem to have it more together than pop stars.

And while I'm at it, thank you for making my daughter and millions of others like her so happy. They do truly look up to you and enjoy everything you do. It's a huge burden - one which I wouldn't want. But the burden is yours. Enjoy it and relish it. You've got a climb in front of you, but it will be a climb down from the top. See you on a reality show in ten years or so.