My High School Dream

I had a very vivid dream tonight that I'd like to share.

In my dream, I was at my 20-year high school reunion. It was being held at some sort of a hotel where one side faced a tree-lined street with several stories of rooms that had outward-facing doors and an outside walkway. The hotel made a ring around a large open courtyard where there was a large swimming pool and a small water park. In fact, it reminds me a lot of some of the "cheaper" hotels at Walk Disney World- the Movies, All-Star and Rock & Roll hotels. But there were bleachers on the inside of the courtyard where people could sit and watch what was going on in the pool.

I remember early on in my dream showing up and being very social, walking around talking to old friends that I haven't talked to in awhile- Brad Chelette, Irfan Hydari, Julie King and Susan Kellond. But then some sort of show began with some entertainment. For some reason it was being deejayed by Sam Malone. I lingered outside on the outside walkways, but I could still hear the show very clearly.

Then I heard a very distinctive voice - that of one of my all-time best friends, Gary Kipe. He had taken to the microphone and was
making some announcement, which wasn't all that odd since he was the class president, a cheerleader and a very outgoing kinda guy. But then I heard him call my name. He was calling for me to come down to the front for some reason (I'm not sure why.) But I wasn't ready, and I didn't go. I remember thinking in my dream "if I'm going to go down there and be introduced, I want to do it in my Superman cape." You see, I've always been a huge Superman fan, but especially so in high school. Right or wrong, I was kinda known for being a bit over the top about it, too. So I decided that I would run over to my car (my great old silver '83 Honda Accord hatchback that died my first year in college), which was parked nearby, and grab my cape. I yelled and tossed a CD to a friend who had come out to get me to tell Gary to wait two minutes, introduce me again and play the Superman theme song. That would give me enough time to get my cape and come back.

I went to my car, got my cape and cape back. I waited on the outside walkway of the hotel to hear my cue to go in, but instead I just heard music, other introductions and Sam Malone talking. So I waited, all the while thinking, "surely they're just waiting for a good time, and then they'll call me again." I waited and waited there on the outside of the hotel, never going in to be a part of the festivities- always waiting for my big entrance, which I was sure would come at any time.

I walked around and went to the top of the bleachers, where I ran into more good friends from high school - Traci Ritz, Karen Amoroso and Sarah Smaardyk. We spoke briefly and superficially. In fact, I kinda brushed them off, even though they seemed genuinely interested in my life and what I was up to. But I was focused- I was waiting and concentrating to make sure I didn't miss my Big Entrance. So they went away.

The day wore on, and the sun got lower in the sky. I finally decided to look inside to see what was going on. The party was still going, but it was winding down and most of the people that had filled the place earlier had already left. I walked around a little, but none of the people I really cared to see where there. My buddy Gary was gone, and I remember looking around again for Brad and my good friend David Barrios. But they had all left. I walked out to my car, opened the door and threw my cape in the empty passenger's seat next to me. And then I woke up.

As I lay in bed, the images from my dream were as vivid and detailed as if I were still in them. Even now, almost two hours later, I can still feel the dream. I can still hear it. I can still see it. And it occurred to me that my dream was a metaphor for life. I'm not quite sure it was my life, exactly. It was in some ways, but wasn't in many, many others. But I know people whose life it represents pretty accurately.

You see, many people have this image of themselves, a dream of sorts. It forms early on when they really don't know much about themselves or about the world around them. Oh, they think they know, but they don't. They have this big idea about what their life is going to be like and they set forth trying to make that happen, exactly according to their vision. But most times, the world has other plans. Things change, and people change. But many people don't change with them. They keep on the same course they saw long ago, consequences be damned. And then they get their big opportunity, their one shot at grabbing the ring and being in the spotlight. But they don't take it because the planets weren't perfectly aligned, the situation wasn't exactly right according to their dream. And they miss it. They spend most of their lives waiting for that perfect situation to come, but it never comes again. And then when they finally give in and decide to live a little, they find that the people they cared about are gone. And then, at the end of the day, all they're left with is the tattered remnants of their dream and a life that wasn't truly lived.

I say that this wasn't about my life because there have been many, many times in my life where I feel like I've grabbed for the ring. And most times, those chances taken have led to great, unexpected things. I really feel as though I've got a good life, and I don't have too many regrets. But the one thing that I do regret is that, aside from a few really good friends, I generally try to keep the world at arm's length. I've lost touch with people in my past who have meant a lot to me, some of whom were in my dream. I'm not talking about keeping up with them on Facebook (a couple of my all-time best friends aren't even on Facebook)- I'm talking about really knowing them and who they are today. Knowing their families and what they do and how many kids they have and what kind of music they enjoy. And letting them know me. Not just the sometimes-crafted me that I want the world to see, but the getting-fat, going-gray and going-bald me. Some of those opportunities are lost, but many aren't. And I intend to try to get to know some of my best friends again. But I digress...

I can't end a dream about high school without giving a valedictorian-style wrap up. So, friends, don't waste your life on nothing. Live your life to its fullest. Go with the flow and learn to dream new dreams if the currents of the world change around you. And be bold enough to grab that one big opportunity when it comes, even if it's not perfect. And then hold on for the ride.