Economic stimulus that works

Dear Mr. President
Patriotic retirement:
There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force -pay them $1 million
apiece severance with the following stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They either buy a house/pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.
Can't get any easier than that!

I still don't like the idea of the government handing out cash, but if they're going to do it, they might as well give it to the people who will really make the economy start moving again: the consumer. After this, if a company fails, it's because they deserve to by true capitalistic principles.

(Thanks to Aunt Peggy for forwarding this to me)