Open Letter to the Houston Texans

Dear Texans,

Congratulations on your decisive victory over the Oakland Raiders yesterday. But you suck.

What makes me say you suck, you wonder? Coaching, execution, play calling, consistency. You name it.

First, coaching. As I blogged during the game, late in the fourth quarter and up by a 23 point lead, matt Schaub was still in the game. This is the same Matt Schaub who has been somewhat injury-prone during his career. This is the same Matt Schaub who is still nursing a tender ankle. We all wince and pray and watch through our fingers every time he scrambles, praying that somebody doesn't land on his ankle and put him out for the season. Seriously, coach. Pull him in a victory that big. He should have been benched at the end of the third quarter and Grossman sent in. Matt played a decent game, but not great. What would've happened if he had been injured on the final series of a blowout game? Fans would've been demanding heads to roll.

Second, execution. I saw several defensive plays that should have resulted in either a sack or in an interception. Mario is doing well. Cushing is tearing it up. But.that's. about. it. As I was discussing yesterday with my buddy, Johnny, during the game, when the defense shows up to play we usually win. They showed up yesterday. Make that happen every week, will you? And please work with your defensive guys on catching. I can think of at least three occasions yesterday when, if they had been able to catch an easy ball, the play would have been a turnover.

Next, play calling. Why on God's green Earth were we still running passing plays in the fourth quarter with a 23 point lead? Run the ball. Run the clock.

And finally, consistency. If the Texans I saw yesterday would show up every week, we would be a playoff team, no doubts. The problem is that the team only seems to play well every other week. And even then, the offense only seems to play half the game. Their play during the second half of games is almost non-existent. They seem to have simply run out of gas. Some stamina training might be in order. Or ore substitutions. Who knows? That's not my job - it's yours. Do it, already.

Oh, and one more thing... Pink????? Pink gloves? Pink hats? Pink shoes? I know it's October and it's breast cancer awareness month. I get that. But for God's sake, this is a man's sport. Know your audience. Seeing big, burly guys down on the field sporting pink is just wrong. Period. I can't imagine such a thing happening twenty years ago. I can't imagine players submitting to it. A small pink ribbon on the helmet or on the uniform should suffice. Man up. And hocking that gear on your website is shameful.

-Destructo

P.S. - Quit winning on weeks when my buddy Johnny and I don't watch the game together. I need a football buddy, and if our wives start catching on to the pattern that seems to be emerging, they might not let us out to play at each other's houses anymore.