The Smurfs Are Gonna Suck.

From /Film:

USA Today reveals how the film begins: The opening starts off in the Middle Ages, Gargamel discovers the Smurfs’ magical village and scatters them into the woods. Clumsy goes the wrong way into a forbidden grotto where a few other Smurfs follow, and because it’s a blue moon, there’s a magical portal that transports them to Central Park. Yeah, doesn’t make much sense… And instead of trying to eat the Smurfs, the movie Gargamel “simply wants to capture the Smurfs to serve as charms, whose mystical essence will make his inept magic more powerful — and dangerous.”

Why is it that every magical, mystical portal travels only to New York? I get the "fish out of water" scenario, but they're little blue creatures time traveling for crying out loud. The fish out of water angle would have worked anywhere in today's world - modern Europe, San Dimas, you name it.

This is like Enchanted redux. And to be honest, the whole "let's set them in the middle of New York City and let the hilarity ensue" angle is the one major thing I can't stand about that movie. And here we have The Smurfs, who are interesting in their own right, being thrown into a contrived plot device just because there are a lot of lazy writers out there.

The Smurfs should stay in the forest in the middle ages where they belong. The magic of the Smurfs draws directly from their quaint natural surroundings. Imagine them as tiny blue Ewoks. Take the Ewoks and put them in downtown Cleveland send you have the same stupid anachronism that limits the plot and forces them into the same kind of contrived situations that we've seen time after time.

I guess filmmakers today don't think that audiences can relate or be captivated by stories set in medieval times anymore or that there isn't the potential for good stories and action there. They're wrong.