The Crappiest McDonalds in the World

On Thursday on our way to Kristi's family reunion we stopped at the McDonald's in Madisonville, Tx to eat dinner. Kayci had gotten to pick.

When we got there, we noticed a huge TV, which was showing a news channel and proclaiming "Michael Jackson Rushed to Hospital."

We ordered our food - pretty straightforward stuff. The girl on the register was frowning and moping (not mopping) around, almost as if she was trying to be like a caricature of the stereotypical fast food worker. It took her almost five minutes to figure out how to ring up a package of apple dippers.

Once we got our food, I went over to get some ketchup from the ketchup pumpy-thing and was disgusted by the nasty gooey mess oozing out of the spout. There were flies and gnats flying around it and resting on the pump as if it were a shiny metal fly perch. So I went up to the counter and asked for some ketchup packets. A heavy-set girl behind the counter told me she couldn't give me any because I was eating here.

"What????" I said incredulously.

"My manager won't let me give out ketchup packets except to people ordering to-go."

"Well, let me talk to the manager, then," I said.

"I'm the manager on duty," she said. "The store manager told me I had to cut down on my orders." I'm sure I rolled my eyes at this point.

Then I got in her face. "You're the manager on duty. You have the authority to make this decision. I'm not using that ketchup. There are flies all over it!!! It's nasty!!!" I suddenly felt like Gordon Ramsey.

By this time Michael Jackson was in a coma.

"Okay, I'll do it this once" she fat robot sheep manager said. I think I said something like "damn right you will" as I grabbed some ketchup out of her hand and walked over to the table where my family was sitting.

I sat down and ate my quarter pounder with cheese and fries with ketchup. I couldn't help, based on my experience so far, but check my burger for maggots. There weren't any, thank God.

By this time Michael Jackson was dead.

So we finished our dinner and got the hell out as fast as we could. It's been a long time since I've had a restaurant experience that bad. I can somewhat understand the staffing issues. After all, minimum wage doesn't buy much these days, obviously. But the conditions were just plain disgusting.

So I'm boycotting the McDonalds in Madisonville, and I hope you all will, too. I'm not eating there anymore. Every time I do, Michael Jackson dies.